Gruntus Primus Maximus



The Gruntus Primus Maximus (also known as the Maximus in short) is the sole parent/progenitor of all living members of the Grunt Species. He resides in the monastery, where is is cared for by the Gruntus Poobah, and is viewed in the manner of a deity by his offspring, once being referred to as “The Exalted” by Gruntus Poobah.

Description
The Maximus appears very similar to most other Grunts; pale white skin, bulging varicose veins, and yellow eyes. However, he is much larger, both in length and in girth than the other members of the species, being the size of a small skyscraper. His body is massive and morbidly bloated, displaying several grotesque folds of fatty tissue reminiscent of breasts. He wears the same style of shorts and wingtip shoes as his brethren, albeit much larger due to his size.

Unlike the other members of his species, the Maximus has the ability to float. The mechanism behind this is never explained, but it appears to be its only means of locomotion, as the Maximus is never seen doing anything else. He is always surrounded by clouds of an unknown substance that follow him wherever he goes, not unlike Pigpen from the Peanuts, implying that it has a strong body odor.

In terms of brain capacity, the Maximus does not seem to display any form of higher intelligence. He is unable to speak, and does not seem to display any form of emotion whatsoever; he is always seen displayed a wide-eyed, blank stare, appearing as if he is in a state of confusion. While his sole purpose seems to be reproduction, he takes no active role in parenting his offspring; without the guidance/care of an ordinary Grunt, his children would simply emerge from his body and to fall to the ground, as shown in Grunt Moments in History. While, he appears to not even be aware of his status or importance to his people, nor even his own life, he does appear to at least have some sort of self-awareness, as he requests more food from Gruntus Poobah in No Quest Today.

Most importantly, the Maximus serves the role of the asexual birth giver to all members of the Grunt species. All of the Grunts are born/hatched from the skin of the Maximus, gestating inside skin wart-like patches peppered all over his body. The location of incubation is inconsistent, and possibly varies; in Grunt Moments in history, single Grunt infants are shown emerging from folds in and around the Maximus’ many nipples, surrounded by membranes similar to amniotic sacs. However, in the episode The Ceremony, the six main brothers are shown being found as a set of sextuplets in a skin wart like patch on the back of the Maximus.

The Maximus resides in a huge chamber, presumably located in the center of the monastery. The Gruntus Poobah is the primary caretaker of the Maximus; his daily duties include feeding him, as well as searching his body for new hatchlings.

The process of feeding the Maximus is shown in No Quest Today. The Gruntus Poobah enters a balcony of sorts, overlooking the large chamber where the Maximus resides. To summon the Maximus to his position, the Poobah blows into a small trumpet-like horn, that makes no discernible sound to the human ear (other than a series of spitting noises), but can presumably heard by the Maximus. The Maximus then travels to the balcony, placing his tongue on a small stage of sorts, allowing the Poobah to dump a large amount of cheese into his mouth by the wheelbarrow full.

In The Ceremony, the Gruntus Poobah recalls the birthday of the six new initiates, leading to a flashback detailing his duty of finding new gruntlings on the Maximus. Using a rake, he pries the skin patches open-one-by-one, hoping to find new Gruntlings before they fall off the Maximus.

Despite making use of asexual reproduction, and essentially having no clearly defined sex, the Gruntus Poobah uses the word “sired” to describe the birthing of new Gruntlings.

History
As partially explained in Grunt Moments in History, the Gruntus Not-Quite-Us became the first Grunt to walk on land, and the first progenitor of the species. At some point later, the NeanderGrunt came into existence; it is unclear whether the Gruntus-Not-Quite-Us evolved into it, or it was simply one of its children that developed higher intelligence.

Later, presumably long before the series began, the Gruntus-Not-Quite-Us had evolved into the Maximus, and had gained the ability to float. The grotesque creature spent its days floating aimlessly floating though the forest, birthing gruntlings at a rapid pace. Upon birth, these gruntlings were left to fall to the ground, where they were forced to fend for themselves. However, one particular gruntling, known as the 5th of Kevin, managed to cling to the Maximus, using his amniotic sac as a bungee cord to save himself from falling. Kevin grew to maturity on the back of the Maximus, guiding and caring for his parent as he grew. Eventually, Kevin decided to build the monastery, providing a safe home for the Maximus, as well as the remainder of his kind.